Don’t Settle

Are you settling in your marriage?

Are you settling for getting along rather than nurturing love?

Are you settling for cursory conversation rather than honest communication?

Are you settling for just sharing a living space instead of sharing a life?

Are you settling for good enough rather than creating something amazing together?

Are you settling for plugging along rather than living intentionally together?

Are you settling for arguing about money instead of working on a budget together?

Are you settling for fighting rather than offering forgiveness?

Are you settling for nagging rather than encouraging?

Are you settling for grumbling and complaining rather than cultivating gratitude?

Are you settling for giving up rather than trying again?

Are you settling?

Because I want you to know, you don’t have to.

You don’t have to settle. You have a choice.

You can choose to work on your relationship. You can choose to work on you.

Of course, if you choose to work on your marriage, if you choose to work on you, it will be hard. Really hard.

You will have to be vulnerable.

You will have to honest.

You will have to be empathetic.

You will have to be grace-filled.

You will have to be forgiving.

You will have to be contrite.

You may even have to be broken.

You will have to choose to love your spouse no matter what. Every day. Sometimes many times in the same day. Maybe even every moment of the day (because, let’s face it, some days we just don’t feel love for our spouse).

But these things are possible if you are willing to yield your will to the Spirit of God. Because he can make all things new. Including you.

Including your marriage.

This is what my husband and I have learned in our recent marriage counseling.

Up until Monday, we had been working individually, each with our own counselor. On Monday night the four of us came together for the first time. It was amazing. And unexpected.

And it ignited in me an incredible sense of hope that I have not felt about our relationship in quite a long time. And I look forward to the work involved in the days and weeks to come.

I realize there will be hurdles and challenges. And that some of the biggest ones will be inside me as I work to practice a Jesus-centered attitude in my life and in my marriage.

But I am ready.

And I am willing.

I am willing to love my husband no matter what. I am willing to work as hard as I have to. I am willing to yield my will to God’s.

Because I am no longer willing to settle.

*note: these suggestions in no way apply to situations involving any form of abuse*
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