Today is my someday.
You know the day to which I’m referring. The ambiguous day we refer to when we think about the things we’re going to do. The things we hope to accomplish. The things we wish we’d made time for that we promise ourselves we will do. Someday. Some day.
Well, today is that day.
Someday, I’m going to accept myself for who I am.
Today is that day.
Today, I shut down my pretentious, perfection-seeking inner critic. I helped her pack her bags and I kicked her to the curb because she is not welcome in me any longer. She has done her damage and today I chose to listen to the Truth. In that already vulnerable moment, I stopped and I prayed. I asked Jesus if he wouldn’t mind speaking just a wee louder today than usual. And then I repeated his words.
I am beautiful. I am incredibly fearfully and wonderfully made. I am complex and intelligent, sometimes fragile, often fierce and I am a daughter of the One True King. Not someday. Today. That is true today.
Yes, maybe I weigh more than I used to, more than I want to, more than a friend. Yes, maybe I am not as young as I was and I feel more my real age than I want to. Yes, maybe I don’t have a closet filled with new clothes or trendy styles.
But I am me. And I choose not to keep waiting for someday to acknowledge how amazing I am. I choose to see me through the eyes of the One who created me. As well as through the eyes of the one who married me.
Someday, things will be easier. We’ll have more money in our bank account. Our girls will be older and able to do more for themselves. We’ll have a fellowship of the heart with a small group of like-minded warriors and believers. We’ll be more sure of our dreams, our goals, where we’re heading.
Today is that day.
Starting today, I refuse to continue waiting for something that isn’t going to happen. Because it’s never been about the somethings. It’s always been about the someones. About Jesus. About me. About my husband, my girls. My family. My friends.
Let’s face it, things don’t get easier. Not really. They change. And we experience peaks as well as valleys. But, even so, the peaks are not any easier than the valleys. Not really.
In fact, they may be even harder. More challenging. They require much of us.
Life requires much of us.
In this life, there are challenges. Difficulties. Trials. Injustice. Heartbreak. Sadness. Life is not easy.
But that doesn’t mean that it is not good. That it is not worth celebrating. That it is not a gift.
That the life we have is not easy or perfect does not mean we should focus our eyes on someday.
We should focus our eyes on today. Today we can celebrate the moments we are given. Today we can be thankful for the joy-filled laugh of our child, for the hands that prepared a meal to share, for the smile our spouse offers from across a room.
Life is lived in the moments. In our todays.
Not in the somedays.
As part of my one word focus on moments, I refuse to spend this year wistfully dreaming about what life might be like someday. I believe that as I choose to live in the moments I am given. As I create moments with my girls and with my husband. As I treasure the moments I have with the people I love.
I believe that someday is already here.
In this moment. And I thank God for that amazing gift.