This week Lisa Jo Baker has taken a break and therefore left us FMF girls with no prompt. A well deserved break at that! Kate Motaung thought it would be fun to write anyway and I offered to set up the linky so here we go writing on the prompt Break

{Go}

Last year in April, I headed out the front door with an air of attitude. I was going down to the end of the driveway, pretty sure that my husband hadn’t remembered to bring the recycle bins back up to the house. I never discovered the answer to my ranting inner argument about how he probably forgot because in my angry superiority, I paid less attention to my footing than to my mutterings. 

Not a good plan on a gravelly uneven driveway.

My left foot landed the wrong way and in my attempt to compensate for that moment, I landed on a twisted, suddenly painful right foot. There I was, on hands and knees on the edge of the driveway beside the front walk writhing in pain. The one time I didn’t grab my cell phone. The one time I decided my almost-three- and almost-five year olds would be okay for the three minutes it would take me to retrieve the bins.

All for those ridiculous, not-really-worth-what-I-set-out-to-prove recycling bins.

I knew that something was wrong. I felt the break even before my mind realized it. My leg buckled as soon as I tried to stand up. So, on hand and knees and with tears streaming down my face, I crawled up the front walk and back into the house, pain searing through my leg, humbled from my air of superiority.

the boot cast was more fun for my five-year-old than for me
the boot cast was more fun for my 5-year-old than for me

Broken.

Physically and emotionally, and, as the next two months would show me, spiritually.

I had wandered away from God. I had distanced myself from my husband. And havoc descended on my life. No, not the broken leg; that was but a symptom and the circumstance that caused me to slow down and look at where I was.

No, the havoc of discovering an online relationship my husband was involved in. The havoc of a barely-existent relationship with God has on a life, a heart, a soul, a marriage. The havoc of rediscovering meaning and beauty in the midst of the breaking. On the way to healing. Because healing hurts.

That one moment created an opportunity for new growth, for healing and for new life, in me, in my husband and in our marriage and in our shared life.

It is growth we are still cultivating. Together. And with God.

{stop}

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8 thoughts on “That Which Breaks Becomes Stronger

  1. Talk about being stopped in your tracks! I am sooo happy you made it back to the house and that instead of allowing this physical break to become something to fight about or make things worse you found that you had other issues, other issues with real answers that could help heal more than just your bones. I pray things continue to work out for you and your family. It takes a lot of time, faith and trust to move past the hurt but with God by your side everything and anything is possible! Thank you for sharing this intimate part of your life with us this week! God bless you!

  2. I chuckled a little at this, because I know of that air of superiority all too well. God uses many things to bring humility to our lives, and that humbling is meant to draw us back to Him. I’m so glad that you did just that!

    1. Actually this is one of three major “breaking points” that turned me back to God. And, as always, your question is deeply thought-provoking: “how did I let go?”

      My best short answer is bit by bit. In all of my three major breaking point moments, God has used my circumstances to teach me his truths and his ways. This on was no different.

      And I think that I am inclined to reflect on your question more deeply and write one, a few or several blog posts related to all of this…

    1. Thank you for your comment. It made me realize that I did not mention that this happened last year at this time. When I saw the prompt – Break – my leg was the first thing that came to mind and I followed that thought in writing.

      The leg is much stronger now. And our relationship to each other and to God continues to grow stronger, too. And my heart has certainly healed quite a lot, too.

      1. I broke an ankle years ago and know what that feels like. Only my relationship broke years before that and I have needed to heal into a new one.

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