So, here’s what I’ve been thinking today.

I’m tired of the Enemy prowling around like the lying lion who seeks to devour and destroy me. Because guess what? I let him. I do. I’m the one who gives him permission to devour me.

How absurd is that?

I’ll tell you how absurd it is – it’s ridiculously and incredibly absurd.

Today, I had a complete meltdown with wailing, gnashing teeth, tears and everything over nothing more than feeling frustrated by the life I’m living each day, by the story I’m telling with my life. I mean the BIG feelings sort of meltdown that toddlers tend to have in the middle of the grocery store because they’re hungry and tired and too little to handle all those BIG feelings.

Yeah, that was me. Shaking my fist at life, refusing to be reasonable in any way, wailing at Jesus for him to do something to make it all better – fix me, fix our finances, fix our rental situation, fix my isolation, fix anything, fix everything.

Of course, when you have two wee kiddos, the BIG feeling meltdown doesn’t get center stage for long. But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel the pangs of it within as we tended to what needed doing.

And then, later, I went grocery shopping and spent money that makes me nervous. Out loud I told Jesus that I felt like crying. Again. But this time, you know what I did instead?

I prayed.

That’s right. I turned off the radio and I opened my heart and I prayed. It started as a rage against the Enemy. I railed against myself for being such a victim of his twisted, whispered lies. And I raged against the lies and the trickery the Enemy wages against me daily. As I drove the twisting turns of the roads that lead me home, it became prayer, and worship, and a claiming of promises, and a claiming of Truth and victory.

A stepping into his Light.

sunrise

 

I am a child of the living, omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, eternal Creator.

I am a child of God. Period.

I am a victor.

I am not a victim. So why do I choose to live like one?

As I drove, Truth poured into me and then poured out of me in heart-felt prayers.

Jesus took care of this. He took care of me. He still takes care of me daily. He defeated death, he defeated this lowlife, slithering serpent. I don’t have to do anything but claim the victory and walk in the Light of that Truth.

To shine the Light of that Truth as I live in the Light of that Truth.

I have been taken captive by the one True King; he bought me, he ransomed me, he paid the ultimate price for me and I am his.

I am his.

No amount of lies from the wily Enemy can change that.

I am his.

Jesus’ victory is my victory. His promises are mine. His Truth is mine. His Light is mine. I get to take Jesus at his Word and live that out each day with him.

I am gifted by God to write. I am blessed by God with two precious little girls for whom God deemed me to be the best mama. I am blessed by God with a husband, a man of God who is flawed but following Jesus.

I will not let the Enemy’s lies rob me of these things.

I will not let the Enemy’s lies define me.

I will not let the Enemy’s lies determine my choices.

And I will not let the Enemy’s lies reduce me to fear and doubt and worry.

As I basked in this reality, I prayed the promises of Psalm 23 and with each word I banished the Enemy further and further to the place he belongs in the name of my Lord and my Savior, Jesus Christ. I’m on the winning team and there’s nothing the Enemy can do about that.

1 The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.

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