Not Afraid to Lose Control

This is what the Lord says to me with his strong hand upon me, warning me not to follow the way of this people:

“Do not call conspiracy
    everything this people calls a conspiracy;
do not fear what they fear,
    and do not dread it. (Isaiah 8:11-12)

Fear Not

Nothing has so driven me to my knees recently as fear.

Have you ever been there?

That place where not only do you have no control over what happens but you have no ability to predict the outcome.

That’s where I am right now.

And nothing will push me to tears and then to my knees and into my Father’s arms like such a moment as this. When all you can do is cry out to Him and say, Help me, Jesus, because I don’t know what to do or even what to pray.

And in those moments, God is faithful.

God is faithful.

Despite my shaky faith, God is faithful.

Despite my trembling lips and streaming tears, God is faithful.

Despite my cracking voice that can barely whisper His name, God is faithful.

God is faithful.

And so it is there, in God’s faithfulness and sovereignty and strength that I rest.

It is there that I stop trying to fix it all.

It is there that I stop fighting.

It’s almost like drowning. The more I flail, the more I panic, the more I fight, the further I sink. The more disoriented I become. No longer can I see the shore.

But He sees.

He sees me, He sees the storm, He sees the shore.

He sees the far more distant shore. The one of which I am not yet even aware. The one that will be far better than the closest shore.

Nothing can steal joy or faith or hope like fear.

But nothing can defeat fear like the One who pours out joy, faith, hope, love.

Can you see Him?

He’s standing there, upon the waves of the storm that threatens to draw you under, His hand stretched out to you.

He’s standing there, waiting.

Waiting for you to stop flailing and fighting and trying to do it on your own.

He’s there.

God with us.

Can you see Him?

Today I see Him, I hear Him, I feel Him.

Today I cleave to Him.

Today I thank Him.

Today I rest in Him.

I do not know what tomorrow brings, but I know Him.

He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and He holds me in His mighty right hand.

Though I was drowning, I am safe in His arms.

He holds me and He holds tomorrow. And that is all I need to know.

There is nothing to fear and nothing to dread because His strong hand is upon me.

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One thought on “Not Afraid to Lose Control

  1. Eleanor Haigh says:

    This year has been my sink or swim year. My faith has been my life preserver. I have and still struggle to hold on. But I KNOW my faith is my only preserver.

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