And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. ³⁰ For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. ³¹ But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. (Luke 12:29-31)

(43/365 days of Fear Not)

Worry is something that can quickly develop into fear. We can translate the what ifs of our worry into paralyzing circumstances. Eventually fear grows where we planted seeds of worry.

But Jesus is as clear about worry as He is about fear: it’s unnecessary.

And it gets in the way of our relationship with Him.

But we can choose not to worry. We can choose not to be afraid. We can choose instead to seek Jesus.

So far through 2015, I have clung to my One Word: abide. And I have discovered that as I abide in Christ, as I seek God’s face and His kingdom, I live differently. I live without the same degree of worry and fear as I have in the past. No, it’s not that I don’t ever worry or fear, but I am learning to take those thoughts captive and I am choosing to focus on Jesus and not the storm. What follows is what has happened in my life as a result of abiding in Christ and seeking Him over my worry and accompanying what ifs.

It is a reflection of the story of The Widow’s Olive Oil:

The wife of a man from the company of the prophets cried out to Elisha, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that he revered the Lord. But now his creditor is coming to take my two boys as his slaves.”

Elisha replied to her, “How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?”

“Your servant has nothing there at all,” she said, “except a small jar of olive oil.”

Elisha said, “Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don’t ask for just a few. Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side.”

She left him and shut the door behind her and her sons. They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. When all the jars were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another one.”

But he replied, “There is not a jar left.” Then the oil stopped flowing.

She went and told the man of God, and he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debts. You and your sons can live on what is left.” (2 Kings 4:1-7)

And today, I am praising and thanking God for a miracle in our life that mirrors the widow’s. For us, this miracle has been part of an on-going provision from God during what can only be deemed extremely lean times for us.

We have scraped the bottom of the financial barrel more than once in the past six months and worry and fear have teamed up and knocked loudly on the door to my heart. But as we approached the end of 2014 and I began considering One Word on which to focus, God drew me to Himself, inviting me to abide in Him.

And so I began the year focused on abiding in Christ.

I also began working through a series of posts tracing God’s words to Fear Not.

As I have focused on these things, focused on Jesus and not on the storms of our circumstances, I have experienced God’s presence and provision in ways previously unknown to me. It’s not that God was not faithful before, but that I was not tuned into what He was doing.

But, as we have had to lean on Him and trust Him more, as we have had to rely on Him to provide, I’ve become acutely aware of His movements in my life. Of His whispers in my heart.

None of these has been more obvious to me than the extremely low heating oil level that has lasted us far longer than it should have.

We have not had the four hundred dollars needed to add the 100 gallons we usually eek by with. In fact, we have not added oil to the tank since we added 100 gallons on March 17, 2014. Typically, we had at least another 100 gallons in the fall.

Every time the heat has come on, I have been reminded of the Widow’s Olive Oil and how she filled jar after jar after jar from a single small jar that she had. It was all she had and when she obediently took what she had and sought Elisha, the man of God, what little she had became an overflowing abundance.

We have since received our tax refunds and my husband received one of his twice monthly paychecks on Friday and we have been playing catch up on bills.

And this morning, the heating oil tank finally ran dry. I woke up to a chilly house and called Burrells. They have delivered our 100 gallons and the heat is running and we are cozy.

And I am not overlooking that God has been our provision and continues to be.

He continues to provide in ways that I am realizing I never noticed before.

because I will remove from you
    your arrogant boasters.
Never again will you be haughty
    on my holy hill.
But I will leave within you
    the meek and humble.
The remnant of Israel
    will trust in the name of the Lord.
They will do no wrong;
    they will tell no lies.
A deceitful tongue
    will not be found in their mouths.
They will eat and lie down
    and no one will make them afraid.” (Zephaniah 3:11-13)

(42/365 days of Fear Not)

What an interesting juxtaposition: being meek and humble and not being afraid.

By the world’s standards this doesn’t seem possible, does it?

It’s usually the other way around. The strong, the boastful, the self-centrics tend to be the ones we think of as courageous, unafraid, unbothered by life.

But, God’s ways are not our ways and His thoughts are not like ours. So, it makes sense that in God’s view, there is no room for the boastful, the arrogant, the haughty, the self-centrics. God’s world view is focused on the meek and the humble. On those who will trust Him, not themselves. On those who recognize and acknowledge their weakness and their need of Him.

When we are able to do that, when we are able to acknowledge our need of God, we will eat and lie down and no one will make us afraid.

I don’t know about you, but that’s a promise I need to hear.

Because I was raised a strong, independent New England Yankee girl who does things for herself. And for a long while, that worked pretty well and I was fairly successful. At least according to the standards that the world sets and by which it measures us and our abilities and our achievements.

But, this way of life is also exhausting.

Perhaps it’s because it is like a game of make believe that never ends. I have to carry my mask everywhere I go and it becomes too heavy to carry let alone hold to my face and hide behind.

But this life as a redeemed New England girl who depends on God and who abides with Christ?

It’s refreshing.

It’s life-giving.

It’s invigorating, even when it’s a difficult struggle according to what the world sees.

These first 40 days of 2015 have been amazing.

My husband and I have struggled well beyond what we have ever experienced in our 14 years together.

Our finances have scraped the bottom of the change barrel more often than I care to recount.

Our circumstances have challenged us beyond what we are able to handle or fix.

But God has been faithful and He has met our every need.

He has not done this at our demand or according to our expectations, but in His perfect timing.

He has met every need and His provision and His grace have sustained us.

And I have been learning, one day, one moment at a time, one abiding moment at a time, that when I trust God, I have nothing to fear.

It is not rational.

It makes no sense.

But it is absolutely true.

And each moment of provision and met need has shown me that I can indeed eat and lie down and nothing and no one, no one, will make me afraid.

And I’ll take that every single time over my own self-centric efforts that lead to nothing but exhaustion.