There are two questions I regularly have difficulty answering. The first is what do you do? This one is tricky for me because there is not one thing that I feel captures what I do, but, even more, I don’t like the idea of being defined by what I spend my time doing. The second is are you a morning person? This one actually tends to make me waffle because the correct answer feels like it should be a resounding, yes! But, in reality, I don’t feel like a morning person and, even more, I don’t necessarily enjoy mornings and, if I had my druthers, I’d likely roll myself out of bed around the same time as my teenagers and also stay up as late as they do, too. The only reason I don’t do these two things is because while I don’t love mornings, I do love my quiet time and I want that to define my day before I dive into it.
And, so, since becoming a mama, I have been a reluctant morning person, a sleepy-headed morning person, and a disciplined morning person; all of these have been in response, at least in part, to our girls. When they were babies and then toddlers, they were early, early risers. Like before the sun-comes-up early risers. That was not easy for me. Eventually, they found a more-reasonable waking time, “more-reasonable” being a relative term, of course, because it was still a bit too close to the sun’s rising and the day dawning for my taste. These days, they tend to greet the day closer to noon than the sunrise; I like to joke that it takes a crowbar to pry them from their beds now.
These shifts in their waking have not actually influenced me in the morning person direction. Honestly, I don’t know that I’ll ever answer that question with any definitive declaration positively or negatively. What I do know is that if my day begins with some quiet time and coffee, heading into the day with my girls feels different to me. In other words, I am excited to greet the day and them, and I am eager to dive into the breakfast discourse that comes alongside the bacon, sausage, hash browns, and waffles. The morning discourse of my teens never disappoints—it is almost always intriguing, fascinating, and delightful.
It’s been this way since they were young. Back then, there were stories and musings about favorite fictional characters, about something we’d read about, about a place we’d been, or about the ways of the childhood world (think whistling, burping, body functions). As they’ve gotten older and learned more about more subjects, our mornings include more varied subjects, music and musical artists, creative pursuits, including original characters, stories they are working on or thinking about, dragon facts, unschooling tidbits. Oh, and there are still favorite fictional characters, whether ones they’ve created or ones they’ve read about, watched, or discovered in songs and rock operas.
Without fail, I look forward to the time when my girls wind their way from their rooms to the living room and, eventually, the breakfast table. I love the conversations we stumble upon as they gear up for the day, first with my oldest, who tends to arrive first, and then with my youngest, as she warms up to the day and the people in her space—us. Starting my day in my own space, shifting my perspective from sleep and rest and grogginess to the coming day through coffee and prayer and God’s Word, helps me feel ready to greet the day and my girls and give them my time and attention without hesitation.
I learned this early on in my parenting journey because early on, when they were rising way too early for my liking, I sometimes arrived to my mama-ing time of the day more than a bit begrudgingly. Fortunately, I married a convicted-without-a-doubt morning person (and while before we had children that was a bit of a trying experience, it was beyond a blessing when our morning lark children arrived). My husband helped me acclimate to the idea of those still, quiet mornings steeped in dawn’s beauty and God’s presence. He coaxed me in that reluctant journey, and I remain grateful for that because it still serves me well.
I may never declare myself a full-fledged morning person, but I will always declare myself grateful and eager for the day and the morning I get to spend in random conversations with our girls. I learn things. They learn things. We laugh. We learn things about each other in the process. I gain glimpses into who they are and who they are becoming. Sometimes I listen more than I speak. Sometimes I chime in unknown tidbits that spark more conversation about when I was their age. I don’t know, as I think about these things, I guess you could say I am a morning person given how much I look forward to the breakfast discourse with my girls.