I remember the actual moment when my curly hair finally made sense to me, that ah-ha moment when drying my hair went from, are you kidding me in the exasperation sense, to the are you kidding me in the dang! my hair looks ah-mazing sense. I was on a business trip in New York City staying in this tiny single room in a tiny off-Broadway inn and I was in a hurry to get to our outside counsel’s office for a meeting. Not only did I need to get myself ready, including my wild curls tamed somehow, but I had to pack my things to move to my preferred hotel that overlooked Broadway (because, of course, I planned to see at least one show during my business trip stay). In order to facilitate a faster drying time, I flipped my head over and clumped my hair section by section in the diffuser attachment and, checking the time, realized I needed to check out and head uptown whatever my hair was doing. Lo and behold, when I flipped my head upright, letting my curls fall into place, I hardly recognized myself or my curls in the mirror. And so began my truly curly hair, don’t care journey.
Fast forward these many, many years, and some of those beautifully wild curls are once again more wild than beautiful (hormones, people tell me), and I’m mostly okay with that. Most of the time. Still, there are times when my husband and I are heading out or having family over and the curly girl hair washing process leads to more wildness than I’d like. Enter, my oldest teen, who learned how to braid several years ago when she was riding horses and often spent time braiding their manes and tails. Her quick and nimble fingers are a gift for unruly hairs and I have taken to hitting her up to braid my damp curls to create two braids framing my face, not caring that I am likely considered “too old” to wear my hair in such a fashion.
Today, before heading out to meet a friend, I asked for her help and in no time me and my braided curls were heading out the door, and, as I drove to the coffee shop, a scripture verse floated through my mind once, then again, and then again, finally settling in for me to consider: A cord of three strands is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). My husband and I used this verse in reference to our marriage ceremony 23 ½ years ago, and it still reminds me of how important relationships are in my life, especially after we added the girls into our relationship.
When my husband and I selected that verse, we were admitting the importance of inviting God into the fabric of our married lives, effectively weaving Him into the relationship so that when things become overwhelming and too challenging for us, He holds us together in the way only He can. Honestly, we have weathered some deeply difficult seasons only because of this part of our marriage; if left to our own selfishness, I doubt we would have lasted let alone thrived even after broken trust and financial stress and dysfunctional habits.
Of course, there is as much practical wisdom as spiritual wisdom in the idea of this small verse. Something woven together, like a braid, truly is harder to break or even undo. Through the years with our girls, I have held that truth close to my heart, wanting to provide that strength alongside my husband for each of our girls. We are the cords in their lives that offer support and whisper encouragement and demonstrate the importance of relationships and the bonds that provide strength, stability, and durability when circumstances feel out of control.
I am always appreciative when there are concrete, everyday things in my life that can remind me of greater truths—even and including the braids by my daughter to tame my unruly curls. In fact, that seems an even more appropriate illustration when I think about it. In the same way the unruly world around me tries to knock me down or push me around sometimes, I have the support and strength of my husband, but also these two incredible young women we are raising. Our relationships, these bonds we have forged and daily nurture, are the things in our lives that do not break. And for that, as well as for the braids I am still admiring in my hair even now, I am deeply grateful.