Who doesn’t love Friday’s arrival? Unlike the rest of the week, Friday brings with it an anticipation the other days of the week cannot necessarily equal. Because my husband is a music director at a local church and works on Sundays, Friday and Saturday officially are his weekends. As you might imagine, our Friday anticipation begins on Thursday evening with an eye toward something family-focused and fun planned for Friday. However, unlike our usual approach, my husband and I decided we would each spend some one-on-one time with one of our teenagers; he headed out with our 17 year old and I went off with our 14 year old.
One of the things about our girls that I deeply appreciate is their passionate spirits. Though their passions tend to be directed in different directions, they tend to be equally strong regardless. In their excitement, I see myself and my passions, or, as we sometimes refer to them, our hyperfixations. While a hyperfixation can exceed a passion, I tend to see the two ideas with some similarity or overlap. In other words, for me, passion tends to feed into hyperfixations. If this term is new to you, it tends to be used in relation to both autism and ADHD and can be defined as a deep obsession with absolute absorption with a particular idea, subject, or task.
Today, our outings were intended to provide each teenager with shared time around one of those passions. For my husband and our 17 year old, that involved several thrift stores as well as a hunt for some speakers to go with the turntable she got for her birthday. This girl has started building an album collection and is eager to add to it. But even more, she is eager to hear those albums coming through speakers in her room. We realize this is taking far longer than she would like, and, honestly, I have lamented that turntables and stereos have taken on a complication I don’t appreciate. While we have managed to provide her part of the system my father-in-law maintained, we are still searching for speakers. I believe it will be worth the wait, but the wait does not fit well with one’s hyperfixation and the desire to have things working sooner rather than later. Believe me, I get it.
I love her love of music and her deep dive into the music of my husband’s youth—specifically 1980s hair metal. I have no doubt that once her system is complete and ready to go, she will soon be immersed in the music to her heart’s complete satisfaction. And while I know how much she is looking forward to that moment, I am almost certain I am looking forward to as much if not more; it is like the Friday anticipation times 100.
As my husband and 17 year old navigated a few thrift stores and Best Buy, my 14 year old and I headed off to the 14 year old’s favorite place—Barnes & Noble, specifically the row upon row of graphic novels. Clearly, this hyperfixation is an easier one to feed, and in a short time my girl had collected three books she wanted to bring home and add to her collection here. In the same way my husband and 17 year old share a connection over 80s hair metal, so our 14 year old and I share a connection over books. In fact, while she skimmed through stories and graphics, I spent a bit of time in my own hunt for a good story, happy to find at least two to add to my own collection (and my ever-growing TBR or to-be-read pile).
While there remains some ends to tie up for my 17 year old, I always enjoy the opportunity to enjoy what my teenagers enjoy, or trying to help them feed that passion however possible. It’s part of what provides me a sense of anticipation for Friday’s weekly arrival. Not every Friday necessarily feeds their hyperfixations, but always Fridays bring not just anticipation but connection. And that is perhaps one of my greatest passions, especially where these two incredible young women are concerned. Indeed they are one of my greatest and most favorite hyperfixations.