When I got up yesterday, I had a sort-of plan for the day for how I would spend my time. Honestly, most of my mornings follow the same rhythm of waking up, doing my Morning Pages, spending time with God while sipping a much-anticipated cup of coffee, and then moving into the rest of my day. Because it’s November and that has traditionally meant a writing-focused month for me, I have been trying to include the writing of at least one post for this blog after my morning routine. Until this year, November has been referred to as NaNoWriMo writers around the world—National Novel Writing Month wherein writers set out to write a 50K word draft of a novel. Like many, I participated in this event for many years, finishing the 50K word count at least three times.

Unfortunately, the official NaNoWriMo organization dissolved earlier this year, taking with it the annual November event. However, a couple of new organizations stepped in to fill the NaNo gap and I figured that was just what I needed in order to catch up on the 23 blog posts I didn’t write over the course of the past 10 months for one reason or another. A 50K word challenge seemed the perfect opportunity to fill in those missing post dates by writing two posts each day, my own version of the football two-a-days focused around my words. It seemed doable, at least in the first three days of this year’s NaNo efforts (now referred to by the new organization as NovNov, for Novel November). My writing, my words, flowed pretty well, but, still, I found myself questioning just how truly sustainable such an effort would be.

Yesterday was a beautiful fall day and by the end of it, I had come to a decision regarding my two-da-day effort. But before I get to that, I need to share a little bit about how my day unfurled. Tuesdays include an at-home appointment and this one was no different. But this Tuesday also included waffle making during our breakfast time and there were at least three tasks I needed to address out of the house. By the time all was said and done, it was early afternoon. Just before I’d headed out the door for those three tasks, my 17 year old asked if she could come with me. It wasn’t an ideal opportunity because I would be in and out of the car several times and there was little driving involved, and I knew that’s what she truly wanted. 

As I put together something to eat, my mind wandered through the framework of the first post I wanted to write but had not yet started. I looked out the kitchen window often as I made some soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, comfort foods for the decision I think I didn’t realize yet I was going to make. As I savored the flavors of my lunch, I drafted the opening paragraphs and created the remaining framework for that first post. Then, I headed upstairs and knocked on each of my girls’ doors and suggested maybe they might like to take a drive and enjoy the sunshine and the warmer day with some open windows and their music. Their yeses didn’t take long to resound.

As we drove some of the backroads taking in the incredible leaf-changing colors with the sun radiating all around, I finished “writing” the blog post in my mind and worked out the framework for the second post I knew I wanted to complete as well. But the idea I’ve considered and dismissed a few times now was growing. It took deeper root as I made dinner. Its tendrils soon sprouted as I watched my girls head upstairs to hang out together. By the time my husband got home from one of his rehearsals, I was wrapping up the second post and looking for some outside-of-me confirmation and affirmation, someone else to appreciate a bit of irony about my sustaining this two-a-day NaNoWriMo effort.

Driving around with my girls, considering the words of this blog, I couldn’t dismiss the idea that unlike my previous NaNo 50K efforts, this one requires more time and focus from me. Typically, when I am working on the draft of a novel, I don’t expect polish or structure or anything else beyond a first-draft effort. But writing blog posts is quite different. Each post needs not only an idea for a vignette, but it also needs structure and a bit of polish. And, because of how I chose to write my posts around specific moments that reflect the things I love about my girls, I knew that I couldn’t (or maybe wouldn’t) write posts ahead of time. 

These posts are personal and they are based on the lived and shared moments and my interactions and observations of these two remarkable young women. This process was never about generic ideas or reasons why I love these two incredible teenagers, like their honesty or their passion for a subject matter. Rather, this was intended to be a love letter and a means to remind my girls just how wonderful they truly are. As I was making dinner last night, I talked briefly with my girls about some of these ideas and about the growing irony—I don’t want to miss out on spending time with my girls and loving my girls by writing about why I love them. That kind of defeats the purpose, you know?

And my 15 year old made a funny but important comment around all of this during that dinnertime conversation: You’ve pretty much made the point. We get it, adding with a laugh, we’re awesome!

She’s not wrong. And she’s also pretty wise whether she knows it or not. There were several moments building one on the other and I realized it wasn’t whether I could sustain my two-a-day NaNo approach, it was whether I wanted to sustain it. And I don’t. The holidays are coming and we have so many fun family traditions and events we enjoy. I want to focus on my girls and my family. I want to live the words I’ve been sharing here. I want to look out the window and see the brilliant sunlight and invite my girls to go for a drive or take a walk or put on a Christmas movie and not worry about whether my post for that day is done before I allow myself to enjoy time with these two wonderful young women I happen to love beyond words, even the ones I’ve written in the past 285 posts.

So, I guess this series is now 285 Reasons Why I Love My Teenagers. But, you should know, it doesn’t stop at 285 or 365. It’s an unconditional, no-matter-what, I choose to just because you are you kind of love, and that kind of love isn’t limited by the number of words or blog posts I manage to write. It’s not limited. It simply is. And for that I am grateful every day.