Like many folks, our family bought pumpkins last October as part of our fall tradition. We typically buy smaller ones that we can use inside on a tabletop or, in the case of our oldest teen, on a bookshelf in her room (alongside her 80s musician Funko Pop collection). Of course, as December and Christmas arrived and we made room for Christmas decor, we moved the pumpkins outside, placing them in the large planters by our mailbox we had used for vegetable containers in the summer. As the saying goes, once those pumpkins were relegated to the outdoors, it was pretty much out of sight, out of mind.
Fast forward to the spring and rediscovering those now-deflated pumpkins that had pretty much disintegrated into what little weedy soil filled those planters. And, now, imagine my surprise to realize that the seeds that had been exposed as the pumpkin remains dissolved into the dirt had planted themselves and started growing. Not only growing, but thriving in those planters. At this realization, my youngest and I decided to take the remaining seeds that had yet to fall into the planter and seed them in another container just to see what might happen. There was definitely a sense of anticipation at watching these rogue plants grow without having to garden.
Unfortunately, those rogue seedlings became the victim of a late frost in the early days of April and didn’t survive. Even so, there are a few of the others, planted after that frost and protected in the soil that have since sprung up and now also are growing without much time or attention from us except when I note their progress as I walk past them going to and from the mailbox. I have no idea whether pumpkins actually will grow from these independent little plants, but I do know that watching the way nature tends to itself reminds me of parenting. It reminds me of the many seeds my husband and I have planted within these two teenagers of ours way back when they were just wee lasses. Unlike those pumpkin vines in those planters, however, we have spent time tending the lives of our girls, and, as they grow into these two remarkable young women they are becoming, I am seeing the fruits of our labor and the fruits of their lives.
Truly, it is a wonder to witness. They are like a garden of wildflowers, splashes of wonder and beauty and color sparking joy.
I have marveled recently at the ways they are able to see the world around them and the means by which they are able to convey their thoughts and ideas. I love watching how they employ tools we have gathered with them to help them regulate their emotions and troubleshoot difficult moments. No, they don’t always get it right or use those tools well all the time; but even their frustration from those stumbles are building blocks that nurture their ongoing growth in those areas. Every time they identify a challenge and consider how to face it, how to address it, how to find help if they need it or how to capture it in words in a journal or a drawing, I am reminded of how capable they are becoming (even when they don’t see it or even believe it).
As we move into the season of new growth and gardens and Farmers Markets and weekly harvests, I find myself considering the ways life mirrors gardening. The way parenting requires nurturing, care, and tending when our kids are younger, but also when they are teenagers. It does tend to look a little different and the conversations are vastly different as well. But when we plant with purpose, not so much haphazardly like those rogue pumpkins outside in those random planters, the results tend to be far greater than we can truly anticipate. I am grateful for the opportunity to see the ways those early years continue to shape our teenagers. They truly are two remarkable young women and they enrich the lives of all those who cross their paths.