Is there anything better than when the mantle of sickness finally begins to lift? After nasal congestion and stuffed-up noses that make sleeping feel impossible and the sapping of energy from several days of feeling less than 100 percent, when the symptoms that have hung on with the desperation of a toddler refusing to release a parent’s neck because they fear the separation they know is coming as they are left behind when the parent goes out the door without them, there is nothing more smile-inducing than the person of your teenager returning to their rightful self. Clearly, colds are common and I acknowledge that. However, despite their ordinariness, there is nothing ordinary about the sensory overwhelm colds bring with them.

If you’re a parent, you have probably experienced that sense of helplessness when your baby or toddler came down with whatever seasonal virus was going around. There’s little you can do to relieve a stuffy nose or chest congestion or the associated misery cold symptoms present. With an autistic teenager, the experience echoes this for both of us. Of course they handle it differently and better now that they are older, but, honestly, I don’t believe the physical symptoms feel all that much differently in neurodivergent bodies. And, so, for the past several days, we have watched countless movies in the living room because other than some homeopathic medicines, the only things that truly helps my teenagers in these moments is distraction. When their mind is engaged with a favorite story, they are better able to “feel better” even if nothing is actually different.

These days of movies can present interesting challenges when it comes to getting things done, but over the years I have come to learn and, even more, understand the difference between taking care of my home and taking care of my house; taking care of my home is about taking care of the people who matter to me, the people who fill the house. In fact, in a previous post, I wrote about my people being my home—wherever we are together, that is home for me. On my parenting journey, I have learned there is an important distinction between the two and feeling like I need to check off To Do items and complete daily chores is not nearly as significant as I was led to believe over the years of my younger life.

Over the past few days, as my teenager has lamented hating not being able to do her usual things and hating having to rest, I have had the opportunity to tell her that sometimes moments like this are reminders for us to slow down. Resting feels boring, but, more often than not, I believe sickness forces us to enter into periods of boredom because that is what we need—it’s what our brains and body require because we have been asking too much of them for too long. In other words, when we don’t choose to do it ourselves, sickness finds the weakness in us and makes the choice for us.

When I was working as a paralegal in the legal department of an engineering firm in Boston, I had thought again and again about leaving my job to pursue writing. After all, I had recently completed my Masters of Fine Arts program in Creative Writing at Emerson College and felt like I should be doing something else, but I wasn’t quite sure what that was and I definitely wasn’t quite brave enough to quit my job. Around that time the company was going through a transition and began layoffs as part of the shift. Everyone in my department was certain I would be fine; I was not. I remember sitting in my boss’ office and him offering to fight for me to keep my paralegal position. With zero hesitation, I shook my head and thanked him for the offer but told him it was a good opportunity. 

For me, I saw this as the chance I needed but had been too afraid to create for myself. Whenever I share this story, I associate this moment with God (for me, things like this almost always come back around to my relationship with Him). That moment in time opened several doors, none of which would have opened had I stayed safely in my comfort zone. It’s through this perspective, this faith world view, that I tend to view things like this week of sickness and rest. When we don’t choose the thing we may need, like resting and downtime, our body sometimes takes matters into its own hands. Like that layoff pushed me into a necessary place so my life could move in a new direction, this week has given each of us rest and renewal (even if it didn’t always feel that way). And, now, I am enjoying watching us emerge on the other side of sickness and cold symptoms in favor of wholeness and wellness. As a matter of course, we are heading into a new week and I, for one, am looking forward to stepping back on the path forward renewed and invigorated, ready for what comes next.