Over my years as a writer I have embraced entirely the existence of Spotify and have likely spent more time than I intended carefully curating playlists for my different writing projects as well as writing moods; they’re sort of like mixtapes I’ve created and dedicated to my writing efforts. Music has pretty much always been a part of my writing process and there is nothing better to me when I uncover a song that seems to speak directly to the circumstances of a story or seems to fit a specific character. It’s my own slice of writing-related Nirvana.
One song that I have on a few different playlists is the 1973 Billy Joel song, You’re My Home, because I like the way it describes home as the place where a person is and not simply a place one might live with that person. Given that I have a few works in progress wherein one of my main characters is searching for her place in the world and trying to find her people, this song has found its way onto a few different curated song lists. As I was listening to it recently in light of one of my protagonists, some of the lyrics washed over me and reminded me of my family and all of the ways I consider them my home; this is definitely true when it comes to our teenagers—wherever we’re together, that’s my home.
This could not have been truer than during our time in the wake of Hurricane Helene that left devastation and destruction when she swept through Western North Carolina. In those first hours as we came to understand the true effects of her powerful wind and rains, our lives were pretty much turned upside down. All of our usual rhythms and routines were disrupted and my anxiety was running incredibly high as I tried to work out how we needed to move forward without power and without ways to cook meals. When we evacuated to an Airbnb in Charlotte for several days, that space felt like home for us, not because of the house itself but because we were together and we could re-establish some of our regular routines.
But it was more than that. It was the laughter we shared and the activities we participated in together, both at the house and in the community near the house. We visited a bookstore where each of us found at least one book to bring back to the Airbnb. One day we spent time at an aquarium and enjoyed exploring and learning about the various sea creatures. My 14 year old was able to head outside at the house and pursue some of her usual outdoor activities and we had access to movies on one of the televisions available to us.
While Hurricane Helene and the disrupted circumstances are extreme, they remind me that whenever we travel or whenever our lives have been interrupted in some way (like the time we needed to leave our rental house that had been sold and had yet to find a new rental space and lived with family for a month), we have been able to maintain a sense of home as long as we are together. Those connections we have worked to create and continue to nurture even as our girls have become teenagers, those connections have created home; it truly is not a specific space or place. As Billy Joel sings in his song:
“Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike,
Indiana’s early morning dew,
High up in the hills of California;
Home is just another word for you…
You’re my castle, you’re my cabin, and my instant pleasure dome.
I need you in my house ’cause you’re my home.”
As those words played in my earbuds, I smiled and considered the truth in them. I considered the truth in them as I looked around at these two remarkable young women with whom I share life daily. I love that no matter where we go or what we face, we are tethered together by the bonds of love, joy, and hope. And I love that there is music to remind me of the importance of these relationships we have with one another. Having just celebrated two of the three birthdays that come along in the early months of the new year, I have gained a renewed appreciation and even deeper understanding of the ways the relationships in my life provide me a rootedness in this life. No longer am I the sole person in my relationships with my teenagers nurturing and caring for and about the other person. No longer am I the one working to support and encourage my teenagers. They provide the same for me. Indeed, wherever we’re together, these two amazing young women are my home.