As I mentioned in a previous post, I recently started reading The Wings of Fire series alongside my oldest teenager and it has been a wonderful point of connection for the two of us directly, and with my youngest indirectly. All three of us tend to talk about the series with me providing clarification where needed for my younger girl. But aside from enjoying the series and the connection it is providing, I came across a passage the other day that struck me as one of the things I love about my girls:
She (Sundew) kept opening Cricket’s eyes in moments when she hadn’t realized they were closed, but Blue was the reason she could keep them open. (Like when Cricket says the books are now made with paper sourced from silk, Sundew responds saying oh, great you used up all one tribe’s resources and now you’re exploiting the resources of another…)
I love this passage and the idea it incorporates in the story. It reminds me of the ways relationships can work, especially if we are both interested in and open to the ideas people in our lives share with us. It can be far too easy for us to make assumptions about what we already know based on our perspectives and experiences. I know I can fall into this trap more often than I’d like to admit. Perhaps that’s why this brief passage struck me the way it did.
In the story, Cricket is a HiveWing dragon and Sundew is a LeafWing dragon and due to the history between the different dragon tribes, Cricket and Sundew stand on opposite sides of a conflict. Blue, a third kind of dragon—a SilkWing dragon—and he is sort of caught in the middle, but he is also quicker to accept the perspectives of other dragons. He is the epitome of empathy in that he tends to step inside the skin of other dragons so he can try to understand how they think and see the world, the same world he inhabits but realizes he sees differently. He forms a quick bond with Cricket and is able to meet Sundew where she is as well. Cricket and Sundew, however, come to many impasses as they travel together. But, with Blue as a guiding force now at work in her life, Cricket is a bit better equipped to consider Cricket’s words and perspective.
In other words, as her eyes are opened they are likelier to remain opened because she has a connection with someone else whose eyes are equally opened. For me, this is a wonderful portrait of what it’s like to parent teenagers, especially neurodivergent teenagers. While we, as parents, like to think we have a firm grasp on all the things, the truth is that sometimes we don’t understand as much as we wish we did. If we are willing, if we are open, there are things our teenagers can teach us—about themselves, but also about the world. If we let them, they can open our eyes to new perspectives and new ways of thinking.
Personally, I love this. Even more, I love that my girls do this more often than they know or realize for me. They each have kind and tender hearts for different things than I do. For marginalized people or for topics I sometimes don’t take as much time as I probably could. And ideas? They have so many interesting ones, as well as unique understandings of ideas we share. I am grateful my 17 year old got me hooked on her favorite dragon series. But, even more, I am thrilled that as I read the most recent book in the series, I got a reminder regarding the way I want to relate and interact with these two incredible young women. I love that they open my eyes to new ways of taking in the world.