Life can feel overly serious at times, and that is one of the reasons I like to look for some of the more lighthearted reasons why I love my teenagers; and there are many as I am learning. As we head into a new month, I have been considering where we are as a family and where I am as an individual with one month of the not-quite-so-shiny new year behind us. This exercise of daily seeking out a reason why I love my teenagers has been a beneficial one for sure. These sorts of pursuits absolutely are the ways God speaks to me* because these posts are directed to me more than anyone.
Over the course of the first 31 days of this year, I have touched on some pretty weighty things, including anxiety, counseling, my own shortcomings, and the challenges of navigating a neurotypical world as an autistic. But I hear from God as much in the lighthearted posts, too, because, for one thing, they remind me to look for life’s joy and wonder and delight. When we look for things, we tend not only to find them, but see more of them than we used to. So it is with seeking and writing about reasons I love my teenagers.
What I love about this series is how an idea seems to pop into my mind when I finally show up to write. That’s how it happened today, even though my efforts happened much later in the day for a variety of reasons. When I was considering my girls, my youngest happened to be breaking into one of many dance moves she is known for around here, and it brought an immediate smile to my face. Her jerky jig brought to mind one of the spontaneous dance parties that broke out in our kitchen about a week before Christmas, a dance party my oldest teenager happened to capture on her iPad and share with the rest of us. With everyone’s okay, I then shared that video on Facebook, talking about how the family that dances together also laughs together. I hold that moment close to my heart and definitely not because of my dance moves on display.
Our family dynamic brings me an abiding joy that goes beyond the kind of happiness dependent on life’s circumstances; where happiness tends to be a fleeting and sometimes cursory emotion, joy is a longer-lasting sensation deeply rooted in an overarching satisfaction and contentment with life rather than a single moment. Joy, like love, is an active choice rather than a reaction.
Honestly, I needed that reminder today because, let’s face it, a lot of life is feeling heavy lately as we watch natural disasters ravage areas of our country and the world, as we witness violence and anger and division, and as we grapple with making sense of senseless tragedies. Obviously, our family life brings challenges and frustrations, but the practice of daily seeking things I love about my teens shifts my perspective. I firmly believe that each choice, each post, each word regarding the reasons I love these two incredible young women roots my heart and our relationship ever deeper in that place of abiding joy.
And here’s an interesting consideration—it’s not that we have more spontaneous dance parties. Those have always happened because it is a part of who we happen to be as a family (I have always wanted to be in a musical and tend to treat my life as one fairly regularly). But focusing on those times of dancing and recognizing them as a part of the fabric of our family’s connection reveals the joy beneath the surface of our life. There are times when breaking out in a not-so-graceful dance move on my part helps to diffuse tension and provide a smile or even a laugh.
These kinds of moments, coupled with so many of the other reasons I’ve catalogued so far, provide us light when the darkness comes so we are not overtaken by the dark. I am grateful today for the reminder to celebrate the small moments. I am grateful today because our two teenagers are a source of the light and the joy that provides me hope. I am grateful for their willingness to join me in my awkward dancing. I am grateful because they are helping me see the world from a better perspective.
*if you have ever wondered if God still speaks to His people today, I strongly encourage you to embark on a journey wherein you seek to find something positive about your life every single day, whether that is something you love about someone or a glimpse of gratitude in your daily life. If you do, I promise you, you will hear His voice regularly.