In honor of Valentine’s Day, a day of which I am not a huge fan, I thought it might be fun to consider the ways these two amazing teenagers of ours have my heart—no matter what. Perhaps the greatest influence for this blogging series is God’s love for me. Christians often refer to God’s love as unconditional; I have come to refer to God’s overarching love as His no-matter-what love. This term strikes a chord with me because of its familiar vernacular and it seems the best way truly to encompass that no matter any action I take or choice I make on any given day I will still be wrapped in the Father’s love. For me, that’s a pretty big deal.
While my girls are aware of this and maybe even somewhat familiar with this idea, at this point they are neither all in or all out where God is concerned. In other words, they are making their own journeys at their own pace and with their own questions and considerations. Whether their journeys lead to believing in God is up to them. Even so, my love for them, whether they realize it or not, flows directly from God and through His no-matter-what way of accepting me. Because I am accepted regardless of what I do or don’t do, I am able to extend a similar unconditional, no-matter-what approach of love to my teenagers.
A few years ago, I came across a Facebook post for a suggested Valentine’s Day themed activity that included cutting out paper hearts, writing on each heart one of the things you love about your kid, and taping each heart to their bedroom doors throughout the month of February. My younger teenager still has the majority of those hearts hanging on her door. I enjoyed that exercise, and this blog seems an extension of that activity. Of course this blog is exponentially greater in its scope, mainly because I wanted to find a way to demonstrate a larger-scale version of love. My older teenager has indicated more than once she doesn’t see how I will possibly be able to find 365 reasons why I love her.
And that is the point.
Too often our idea of love is limited and limiting. That is partly why I wanted to embody God’s version of love, the kind of love that cannot be altered, made smaller, or even lost because of who we are, who we become, or what we do. Because God will never take His love away from me, how could I ever do that to either of these two precious young women?
Over the course of their young lives, I have shared some stories from my life, versions of me that are definitely not illustrations of my best self or the person I am now. And while I believe each act of defiance and yes, stupidity, and poor choice in my life has helped form the person I am today, I know that is mainly because God takes even my worst mistakes and stumbles and uses them to create good things. It’s part of what makes God, God.
So, when my girls pepper me with questions about whether this thing or that thing will influence how much I love them or whether I will love them, I never hesitate in telling them there is nothing, absolutely nothing they can ever do or say or choose that will make me stop loving them. This blog is one way to make those words a more concrete response to their question. My 16 year old reads my posts every single day. She asks me if I’ve posted it yet so she can go find it and see what I’ve written about why I love her and her sister. With each keystroke, I hope to help each of them see and, even more, understand, the depth of this mama’s love for them.
That’s why, Valentine’s Day or not, big gesture or small, I show up here each day to capture a moment or acknowledge a part of who they are and weave it into words and a reason why I love them. Why? Because they have my heart. They amaze me and they inspire me and they encourage me, and for that I am grateful every day. They have my no-matter-what love no matter what a day looks like or what happens between us, because loving others, especially my teenagers, is always a choice. And when it comes to these two delightful young women, it’s an easy choice to make.