Many years ago I lived in Boston. I had an awesome one bedroom apartment right near the Prudential Center with a T-stop right on the corner where I lived. I could walk everywhere and I loved it. One of my favorite places to go was the Public Gardens because it was a beautiful oasis in the middle of the city. At least once or twice a week, depending on my work schedule, I would collect my things and head to a shady spot in the Public Gardens where I could relax and maybe work on a project or read.
Every time I opted to do this, I packed my favorite oversized bag with my laptop, a journal or notebook, at least two books—(one fiction, one nonfiction), and probably one or two other potential projects, because I wasn’t sure what I was going to work on once I’d found my place in the Gardens. As you may have already guessed, I rarely broke out any of those things; typically, I dug out the book I pretty much knew I was going to read and that was that.
As for the rest of the stuff? It stayed buried in my bag, but I took comfort knowing it was there. Why? Well, there was always a chance I might need it or, at the very least, want to dive into my journal or work on a story I was writing. In other words, I am a just-in-case kind of person. When I pack, I tend to overpack because I like to add things just in case I need them. When I head out for even a few hours to a coffee house, yep, you guessed it, my favorite backpack is filled with all the things I probably don’t need but had to put in my bag just in case. When I go to meet a friend for coffee, I have way too many things I know I won’t need, but I should have them just in case.
I’m not sure where I developed this habit, but recently, my teenagers and I have discussed that it seems to be an autistic girl thing, this need to leave the house with at least one bag stuffed full of favorite things or, in my case, just in case things. I’ve had conversations with a couple of other autistic women, and we all agree this is something we have in common, leaving the house with bags and sometimes even things in arms, more than we can carry and likely more than we need (though I’d probably provide a fiery, feisty debate on the idea of whether or not we need it).
Because here’s the thing about all the things—many of the things my girls or I tend to carry with us are comfort items. Packing my backpack full of books to read and journals and a copy of a story I’m working on and my laptop is like bringing a pillow fort with me wherever I happen to be going. In reality, I realize I am not all that likely to pull most of those items out. Even so, I like knowing I can if I want to. I like knowing they are there, just like they would be if I were at home sitting in my favorite chair or in my favorite spot on the couch.
I am fairly certain this is why my girls pack their bags similarly even when we are only going for a drive. My youngest tends to be a bit more of a packer like me. She packs her backpack to its fullest, has another bag with other options and then has her arms full of her absolute favorite items as well. When we travel, it works the same way, and that’s okay, too. I admit I can be a just-in-case girl, but when it comes to that, I am definitely someone who goes all in; I might not go all in on too many things, but I will always be fully committed to a backpack full of things I may not use but still, most definitely need. And I will create as much space for my girls as they need when we head out, whether for a drive or a trip, so they have what they need in each of their bags.