Some days I like to sit and look out the white sheer curtains that hang over our front double windows. At just the right angle, the curtains and the glimpses of sunlight remind me of the beach, even though I don’t specifically recall white sheer curtains in any beach house I’ve ever stayed in. Perhaps, it is more the idea of a beach house where I would like to be sitting, watching the ocean breeze make the curtains billow, smelling the salt air. This is a familiar feeling of restlessness and longing that stirs my heart; it’s as if I am missing something that isn’t even something I’ve had. It creates a sense of wistfulness layered with longing. It is a peaceful longing at least. Even so, it inspires a gratitude within me for the people around me, including our two teens.
In moments of yearning for new places or new opportunities, for new stories and new possibilities, I like to consider what I have right here, right now. And so, I spend time in my mind smiling at sweet moments, laughing at silliness, and appreciating puns. Many of the interactions between our girls are rapid-fire dialogue that builds on itself to a crescendo of laughter and delight. If you are a fan of Gilmore Girls with its snappy back and forth filled with zingers and sarcasm, you likely would appreciate the sibling exchanges these two bring to the breakfast and dinner tables and to casual hanging out moments.
But it is not only the ways they make me laugh that brings me joy. It is also their ever-changing curiosity and interests. Recently, my youngest completed our local library’s summer reading challenge and was invited to choose a free book to add to her already extensive collection. Watching her explore books is a joy in itself. Whether at the library or a bookstore, she finds a comfortable spot and hunkers down with an intriguing title and dives in. Like someone buying a new car, our girl likes to give a book a decent testdrive to discover whether she wants to spend any serious time with the story. This is what she did with the cart filled with potential book options at the library until she finally settled on one. For her, it was a veering off from her usual graphic novel options (mainly because she already owns pretty much every graphic novel on that cart).
The verdict? She loved it. How I love when my girls find something that thrills them. I have watched each of my girls move through this process recently. With my older, she has discovered new music and new groups; but even more, she has discovered the exhilaration of lost demos of both groups she already enjoys and, through the rabbit hole of the Internet offers, mediocre quality demos of new-to-her bands who never made it past the initial demo phase. There is something special in watching someone discover new options, especially around something that brings them such joy. Our oldest truly loves music and it sparks a rich joy in her, which, in turn, sparks a joy in me.
Spending time with the people who matter to me fills my heart to an overflowing place and eases even the peaceful longings my heart experiences. As I sit and consider beaches and ocean breezes and the lulling and restful rhythms of the tides, I also count the blessings set before me, including these two remarkable young women. Because one of the things I’ve learned over the course of the years we’ve shared as a family, it’s not the house or the location so much as the people with whom we spend our time that brings meaning and purpose to our lives. Yes, I yearn for a view of the ocean outside my window, but I am content and at peace because I get to spend my days with the people I love and who inspire me in myriad ways each day. It’s not what’s behind the curtain as much as who I’m looking out the window with.