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Yesterday, I added my 17 year old’s wise words to my internal playlist—the thoughts I’m training myself to focus on and using to override the voice of my inner critic. You know that voice because I’m fairly certain you have an annoyingly frustrating inner critic, too. It’s the voice that sneaks up on you when you are about to do something that matters to you or when you are reflecting on where you are in your journey. But you don’t necessarily have to be on the precipice of something important for that little booger to dive into one of her tirades about what you can’t do or why something you’re about to do truly doesn’t matter. That voice, for me, creates an inertia that can feel impossible to overcome.
It’s not impossible. It just feels impossible.
One of the incredible things about my teenagers is their ability to do something creative every day. No matter what else happens during the day, even when they are dogged by Resistance (this is a term coined by Steven Pressfield and refers to the internal battle with doubt, insecurity, fear, and procrastination) or when they are slogging through a difficult emotional day. Yes, they sometimes are overwhelmed and their creative juices seem to dry up in the wake of emotional dysregulation or life’s circumstances. Even so, more often than not, they engage in something creative at some point.
When I watch them, it is easy to be both encouraged and inspired. As I consider their prolific creative efforts, once again I am shaping new soundtracks to remind myself to do something. Every day, do something. That’s what I’m telling myself as of today, this moment. Today, I have spent some time battling my own Resistance, all the while knowing full well I am in the midst of a spiritual battle as I consider the transition I sense in this current season of my life.
Change of some kind is on my horizon and not knowing exactly what it is or what it involves is not easy for this self-proclaimed recovering control freak. Perhaps that’s why I spent some time writing in a notebook today, jotting down new soundtracks alongside scripture passages to help encourage myself on the days when I would rather do nothing than do something. Mind you, I don’t feel like I need to do anything more noteworthy than being present in my life and with my people. I don’t believe I need to have a life that looks like someone else’s (boy, that one is a challenging bit of Resistance right there for me). I do believe I need to do something.
Every day, do something.
These are words I’ve told myself in the past, but in recent weeks, perhaps months, they have been drowned out by the noise of busyness and Resistance. Today, these words returned in the whisper of my Creator as He encouraged me to watch these two remarkable young women He has placed in my care. And, as I did, I was reminded of their incredible creativity and also inspired by it (as I have been many, many times). Today, though, those words—every day, do something—felt different. Today, those words resounded in my heart, mind, and soul, piercing me with their simple truth. This truth is simple because it’s possible, it’s absolutely doable for me to do something. But even though this truth is simple, it can still feel impossible; it can still be hard.
But it’s not. I know this because every single day I watch the ways my teenagers show up in their lives. I watch them overcome Resistance. I see their art and I hear their stories. I watch their interactions and the ways they engage with the process of creating. Every day I watch them and I am inspired by them. And I am always, always deeply grateful for the gift they are in my life.