Sometime around 2012 or 2013 I undertook a writing project called, Love in Marriage, wherein I catalogued 365 reasons I loved my husband on the premise that love is a choice and not merely a feeling. Those words resonated with many; unfortunately, those words also have long-since been lost to the ether of the Internet due to transferring the hosting of that early blog at least twice. Despite losing those words, the practice of writing daily combined with the intentional focus on reasons to love my husband were something I still consider a valuable experience.
Thus, I am undertaking something similar for 2025.
This time, the focus is 365 reasons I love my teenagers. So, once again, I am putting forth the idea that love is a choice, one that we can control. Too often I read posts on different social media platforms regarding the difficulties or challenges of parenting teens because of their attitudes and their choices. For me, I want to focus on my side of the relationship. I want to choose to love my teenagers with the same no-matter-what kind of love with which God loves me.
That said, I hope my words and experience provide a bit of encouragement or inspiration to you, dear reader. And, so, let’s dive in together this afternoon, shall we?
Reason 1 Why I love My Teenagers – They Embrace the Silly Side of Life
I don’t know about you, but sometimes when I think back on my teenage years I can feel my teen angst as if I am still 14 or 15. Life felt overwhelming back then, maybe because I was a walking, mumbling teenage caricature—I wanted to fit in, I wanted to be “cool” (whatever that actually meant), I wanted to stand out (but not too much and definitely not for the wrong things), I had no idea who I was, and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. Honestly, it was a long list and not all of it needs to be detailed here.
Right now, my girls are 14 and 16, and they are definitely experiencing some of those teen anxieties, especially with regard to the unknowns of their futures and even a New Year. In fact, sometimes our days can involve a level of anxiety that is almost palpable, like the anxiety is another living entity in our home and it takes too much of our energy and our focus.
Even so, I am amazed and inspired by the way each of my girls responds a lot of the time to their anxious moments and the unnamed fears of the future. Yes, I invest time and energy into both girls, helping them to co-regulate and helping them remember they can choose their thoughts (even if they are unable to do that in a specific moment). But there are those times, like today, when I get to be a witness to their sister support, a connection that inevitably devolves into pure silliness.
There is nothing quite so pure as love steeped in laughter and it is truly delightful to behold.
Life comes with challenges and being a teenager carries a weight of challenges we can easily overlook. Fortunately we have worked hard to create open lines of communication with our girls so they are as comfortable sharing their struggles as much as their celebrations with us, and also with each other. That part? The with each other part? That is still evolving because there seems to be in us a natural sense of not revealing the broken parts of ourselves even to a sibling.
And that’s why watching my girls connect and embrace a silliness in the face of one girl’s anxiety was soul-stirring for me today. It reminds me of who they are, but it also provides me intimate glimpses of myself and ways to face my own overwhelm. It is truly a blessing to parent these two incredible teens and I am excited to share with you 364 more reasons why I love my teenagers.
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