It’s that time of year, the time of costumes and fall festivals and trunk or treating and harvest-themed games. This year, I finally managed to get my act together in time to volunteer to participate in our church’s fall festival and be a part of the popular trunk or treat event. I say get my act together, because of course when one is volunteering one’s vehicle for this fun and frivolity, one must consider how to decorate the back of one’s car. While I will confess that most of the other participants’ cars went above and beyond my efforts, I did manage to track down a fun little Halloween kit that included all kinds of fun decorations—a garland of shiny tassels, a garland of fall leaves, a trick-or-treat banner, and several pumpkin balloons as well as a few paper accordion balloons, too.
Because of the timing of the event—we would be there at least three hours—my husband and I decided we would give the girls the choice of whether to come along or stay home. Both chose to stay cozy at home, which turned out to be a good option given that the rain that wasn’t supposed to start until way later in the evening showed up as we all were setting up our decorations. Then, during the part of the actual event, there was a good steady rain for at least 10-15 minutes, creating a bit of a chilly evening event. The rain made me grateful for the “trunk” of my CR-V, which provided me a bit of shelter during the steady rain.
Even though the girls didn’t come with us, I did have my husband take a photo of me with my decorated trunk ready to hand out candy to the local community of festival attendees and text it to them. My 15 year old saw the text almost immediately and I loved her response about how aesthetic it was (that’s her new favorite description for how things look both in life and online). I also had my 17 year old’s stamp of approval before I left regarding my trunk or treat look, which was all black except for my bright orange Halloween socks and, eventually, my red fringy jacket. Of course, they both approved of my elf ears.
One of the things I always appreciate about our teenagers is that they take an interest in the things I do, even if they are not directly or specifically involved in what I’m doing. I love that they show and express joy and interest in my efforts and that they appreciate me as a person who is not just their mama. Whether they realize it completely or not, that’s how it feels to me when they take the time to comment on a text like the photo my husband sent them or when they randomly and spontaneously search me out to check and see how I’m doing or to give me a random hug on their way to get a snack or refill their water bottle.
Quite often, after we finish up with an unschooling session, I love that my 17 year old will remind me that I need to make sure to take some downtime like they are about to do. She likes to check in on me and make sure I’m taking time to rest and reset during the day and don’t stay in constant motion. It is these sort of small gestures that make me feel seen, heard, and loved. And as I sat over at the fall festival handing out candy to so many cutely-costumed trick or treaters, I was transported back to some of our own Halloween strolls and fall festivals. I was reminded of their delight and their excitement to be a cat or Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, to carry a small pumpkin bucket, and to wander from one storefront to another. It was an adventure. And I love that they carry that same spirit of adventure still.
Sure, it looks a little different now. For the youngest teen, she and I will spend one night at the local bookstore and the actual night of Halloween watching a movie or working on a puzzle and hanging out. For the oldest, she still loves costumes and is absolutely a cosplayer at heart and this year she is thrilled because she gets to head out to listen to live music with her dad, listening to the band my husband used to be in and the one that is responsible for her deep love of classic rock and hair metal. She’ll get to wear a costume she’s been carefully planning and curating for months and enjoy some delicious pizza and French fries (that apple did not fall far from this tree there) and rock out. And, just like when I was done decorating my car, I know there will be a sprinkling of photos as she and my husband enjoy their night out while I get to lay low-key and cozy up at home with my youngest and whatever it is we choose to do. So, it may look different now, but I love how our life looks because with these two remarkable young women, it tends to look pretty amazing.