As I begin today’s words, it occurs to me that perhaps there isn’t always something specific I want to talk about when it comes to the reasons I love my teenagers. Maybe that’s because there are days, like today, when I realize quite simply that when I spend time with my teens, I feel like I am home. There is something comfortable and even downright delightful about being together, whether we are doing school-related things or exploring a new place together or watching a movie together. Perhaps when you have created a life together, as families tend to do, these are the people in whom I find my greatest joy.
But it’s more than that.
Maybe it’s because new things can feel overwhelming for me sometimes. It’s not that I don’t enjoy new adventures and opportunities, but, honestly, I tend to be a creature of comfort. And familiarity. And I like that my teenagers bring that to the table, or the living space, or the car, or wherever we happen to be. They bring that level of comfort and familiarity I crave. And when I feel comfortable, new adventures are easier to embark upon.
But it’s more than that.
There is a peace that settles across my heart when we are together, even if we are not all in the same space. That peacefulness drifts on the airwaves along with their laughter when the sisters are engaged in moments of nostalgia and reminiscing about childhood memories. That tranquility flits and flutters in the notes of their voices, pooling around me like the way particles of dust collect in sunbeams when the sun streams through windows even on the coldest days. I like that I can almost see their joy or their delight in those moments.
But it’s more than that.
Some days, my love for these two incredibly awesome young ladies is a bit like the waves of the tides when one floats in the ocean, feet lifted from the sand below and body seemingly weightless upon the surface of the ebb and flow of the water. Love is like that at times, isn’t it? It’s everywhere, all encompassing and buoying, carrying us along with almost no effort from us.
Yes, love requires action; but it’s more than that.
Maybe that ease we sometimes feel when it comes to the love we have for others stems from the ways we practice it each day, sometimes as often as moment by moment, because sometimes we truly have to choose. But when we actively choose to love someone, like when I choose to love my teenagers, it’s like working out our muscles at the gym or working out our minds through reading and studying. The more we work out our choosing to love, the stronger and more encompassing our capacity to love becomes.
And that allows us sometimes to come to a place where we experience love differently. We can simply breathe it in. We can float upon the tides of connections and feel warmed by the relationship we have nurtured and prioritized by our daily choosing. Perhaps that is why there are days, like this one, when I find myself feeling at home just by being in their presence. Just by being with them. Just by sharing life with them, sharing the good and the not-so-good, sharing the joy and the overwhelm, and sharing the beauty of being a family. Today is that kind of day. A day where I choose to bask in the comfort and delight these two teenagers create in my heart as much as in my life.