Well, unfortunately, we missed it. That’s right, we missed National Hugging Day which apparently is January 21st (go ahead and mark your calendars now for the New Year so you don’t miss it next year). Of course, with all of the scientific reasons for hugging, it seems that every day should probably be a celebration of National Hugging Day. In honor of the benefits of hugging, perhaps we can add in a few more days throughout the year and dub them things like, Hug Your Way to a Healthier You Day or maybe Lower Your Anxiety with Hugs Day or even More Hugs for Less Stress Day.
As someone who hasn’t always been much of a hugger because unlike cookies, physical touch has not made the top of the list of my love languages, I love and appreciate the hugs my two teenagers provide without prompting. Little did I know just how beneficial those hugs are to both my physical and mental health. And that makes me even more deeply grateful to these two awesome teenagers for their daily hugs that not only keep us connected, but apparently also lower all of our stress and anxiety.
That is something I think most of us can use a little more of each day, you know?
There is a lot of misinformation about actually autistic people out there, including that they don’t feel/express emotions or that they lack empathy. Related to this wrong information is that actually autistic people don’t recognize emotions in others. I’m not exactly certain where this information originated, but my guess is that it is related to the fact that autistics do not respond to nor do they necessarily express emotions in the same ways as their neurotypical peers. This has led to some obvious misunderstandings around the ways actually autistic people move through and engage with the world as well as with their fellow human beings.
Quite often I have witnessed the overwhelming weight empathy layers on my girls, especially my 17 year old. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone identify with the stress or pain or suffering of another person to the depth and degree my 17 year old tends to. I have also been on the receiving end of her empathy often because, again, despite the misunderstanding that actually autistic folks lack empathy, she not only experiences it, but she is able to employ the measures necessary to support someone who is dealing with overwhelming emotions or stress or anxiety.
One of the ways she supports me? That’s right, with a much-needed and incredibly helpful hug. Let’s face it. Hugs are not only a wrapping of another’s arms around us, they are also a multi-sensory meeting of needs, physical, emotional, and sometimes even spiritual. In other words, they convey a sense of hope, a sense of peace, a sense of love, and a sense of recognition. That recognition is a key factor for me because it is the place where I am not only seen and heard, but where I am fully understood and supported.
It is an incredible gift.
And, it is a gift I receive regularly throughout our days here. Sometimes, you might not even realize how desperately you desire the deep sense of comfort and love a hug provides until you are wrapped in the arms of someone who loves you. And, when I consider how often I read how some parents view their teenagers or their relationship with their teenagers, I cannot help but count myself as richly blessed to know that my teenagers appear by my side regularly to wrap me in a hug.
Obviously, hugs are mutually beneficial, and I love that my girls are still more than willing to be hugged by me and my husband. Ever since our girls were young, I have always wanted to make sure we maintained the kind of relationship that included the physical connection of hugs and connectedness. And yet, I don’t think I realized how much that connection benefits me, how it benefits my physical and mental and even my emotional health. Because of these two snuggle bugs who were snugglers and huggers pretty much from birth, I have grown in my own ability for physical touch and hugs. And that has more benefits than I ever truly realized.