It’s Birthday Eve Day for the 14 year old and of course that means I am considering all the ways life has changed over the years for us and for the 14 year old. The ways our youngest has navigated through the years, shedding her childhood and morphing into a teenager. Of course, any parent knows, no matter how old your kids get, there are times when you look at them and see that baby in your arms or that young child who was learning about the world and herself. It feels like it all happened in the blink of an eye, but, on these days, I like to remind myself of the journey we’ve shared through her now 15 years.
And so as I sip some coffee, I invite in Nostalgia (you know, the character from Inside Out 2 who makes two brief cameos), and remember the years, my heart stirred with delight in who this now-young-woman is becoming. If I had to pick only one thing about this girl that inspires me, it is her fearlessness—the way she has almost always opted to try new things despite the anxiety that has shadowed her since she was quite young. Her fearlessness and her joy. Those are the things that come to mind as I consider her life to this point.
When she was starting third grade, she got a spot at the public charter school her sister attended. While she had some challenges early on, transitioning from homeschool to traditional school, she was quite the adventurous soul. In fact, she always has been. Whenever we went anywhere, like the few times we took our neurodivergent kids out to eat, she was the one who didn’t want to sit at the table and read the books we brought. She wanted to explore. Heading to school for her was no different. As she moved through to the upper grades, she willingly tried new activities—slacklining, dances, wellie wanging, school overnights—and looked forward to each new experience, even when those experiences sometimes pushed her beyond her neurodivergent abilities. Each time she faced down her fear and anxiety with gusto.
As her teen years have propelled her further along her path, that sense of fearlessness has waned a bit. Or perhaps it’s that it’s been overshadowed. Her desire for adventure remains, but her anxiety sometimes wins out, and, as a teenager, well, she sometimes simply wants to be alone rather than with other people, especially people she doesn’t already know. Even so, when our family heads out on adventures, even to new places, her excitement is almost always palpable. Surrounded by her people, she holds that familiar fearlessness beneath whatever uncertainty may creep in along the way.
Maybe some of what I see in her are glimpses of me; she reflects some of my tendencies in her mix of anticipation and anxiety as well as in her sarcastic wit and sense of humor. These last two things are part of the way she navigates the world and its challenges. Like me, when the world or her circumstances feel overwhelming, she faces things with humor, often trying to lighten any perceived tension with laughter. Of course her sense of humor is also one of her greatest assets in any circumstance, not just the difficult ones, as she simply straight up employs her quick wit and wordplay to inspire laughter through the day.
And make me laugh she does, with her puns and her insight and her jokes and her wit. Of course one of the things that makes those moments even better is the sense of accomplishment she exudes when she knows she has hit home with a joke or pun. Her humor feeds her confidence and I believe those paired qualities serve her well, allowing her to speak her mind and advocate where she needs to and cracking jokes to keep her anxiety at bay. It doesn’t always work, but no matter, she fits the turn of phrase from William Shakespeare we have applied to her ever since she was a baby, Though she be but little, she is fierce.
I have no doubt she boldly will move through this life, scattering seeds of kindness and laughter in her wake. Those whose lives she touches indeed will be the better for it especially in her desire to speak for and defend the marginalized. Her tender heart and her fearlessness will provide her the means to override her anxiety and I look forward to seeing where her path leads as she listens to her heart and embarks on the adventures before her.