One of my favorite days of the week right now is Fridays because they’ve become one of our family adventure days and I love that we get to spend time exploring our local area while so many other folks are at work and school. For us, Fridays can be like a fun micro vacation. Because my husband works as the Traditional Music Director at a local church, his days off are Friday and Saturday and I try pretty hard to keep our Fridays appointment free so we can enjoy these family adventures. Yesterday was no exception as we headed out to the nearby Nature Center.
As a side note, we last visited the Nature Center a few days before Hurricane Helene moved through Western North Carolina and there were some noticeable impacts, including the now washed-out bridge that until Helene was how we always got to the Nature Center. We also watched a video regarding the devastation the Nature Center experienced and the incredible assistance they received from the local population and from several other zoos in their same association, including the Roger Williams Zoo in Rhode Island, where I grew up and the first zoo our oldest girl first visited.
Despite the unbelievable decimation Helene caused the area and the permanently altered landscape in the area, including within the Nature Center itself, none of the animals were harmed during the hurricane nor did any actually escape their enclosures. It was such a fun trip and we thoroughly enjoyed wandering along the paths to see all of our favorite animals—the black bears, the mountain lions, the bobcats, the red tailed pandas, the otters, and the wolves and coyotes. I count myself incredibly blessed to be able to spend days like these with our teenagers. They are a joy and I love that they love animals the way they do.
But even more, I love that as everyone was heading to bed last night, my 15 year old told me she loved that I’m her mama. I do not take such pronouncements lightly. Especially those that come unsolicited and randomly.
This isn’t the first time one of our girls has said this kind of thing. In fact, my 17 year old has told us on several occasions how grateful she is to have me and my husband as her parents. Like me, she is acutely aware that not all teenagers experience the kind of relationship our girls have with us and that hurts her tender heart. Actually, she has talked about this with her counselor, who acknowledges how hard it can be for our 17 year old because she knows what family can look and feel like and she wants all teenagers, especially her friends, to have that kind of experience. If she could fix it for all of them, she would do so in a heartbeat.
Believe me, we are imperfect in many ways.
Still, we have always tried to nurture a relationship built on genuine and open communication and built on mutual respect. Quite often in my posts I talk about love being a choice and I believe it is always a choice. I also believe it is not just a feeling. But more than anything, I believe the relationship we forge with our children and then our teenagers requires us to see our teens and kids as the human beings they are. In other words, to see our teens as people who have bad days, who experience overwhelming emotions and BIG feelings, and who need space and the freedom and opportunity to question my authority and my words. My goal is always to help them understand the why behind what we do, say, or require of our girls.
And, if you’re a parent, you probably know the questioning and the doubts, wondering if you’re getting it right. Because we don’t always get it right (and, when we don’t, in our house, parents acknowledge that and make amends just like we ask of our children, now teenagers). I suppose that’s why when one of our teenagers tells us, like our 15 year old did last night, that they are glad I’m their mama or that they’re grateful their dad and I are their parents, I am beyond thankful for that reminder that I’m getting it more right than I think.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It is filled with challenges and unknowns and a boatload of insecurities. But the knowns make all the difference. And what I know is these two remarkable young women and their beautiful hearts. I know I love getting to walk alongside them as they make their way through this world. I know that I enjoy their company and watching them grow and explore new ideas. I know that I love getting a front row seat to their curiosity. I know that my life is better because I get to share it with them. And that is one of the best family adventures we get to go on every day, not just on Fridays. We get to share our adventure as a family always and no matter what and I never take that lightly.