You don’t realize how much you depend on the Internet until it’s not working. You know that feeling, too, right? When you hit the refresh button again and again. And then again, trying to get a webpage to load or trying to access your email. Only five minutes ago, everything was working just fine and then, it’s not. You start to question—is it the website, is it your service provider, is it something bigger? Suddenly, the world feels smaller and you wonder how you’ll get your projects done and you’re thankful you at least have a few downloaded playlists on your music app (or, if you’re like my 17 year old, you’re happy to have some favorite albums on vinyl and a cool stereo to play them on).
As many folks are aware, yesterday’s global Internet glitch due to the Amazon Web Service (AWS) outage affected millions according to CNN, who shared data from Ookla (parent company to Downdetector, a company that tracks user-submitted reports of outages) indicating part of yesterday’s breakdown of outage reports: United States: 1.4 million+ reports; United Kingdom: 800,000+ reports; Netherlands and Australia: 400,000+ reports; France and Japan: 350,000+ reports. As services get back to normal today and analysts consider the financial and strategic and infrastructure issues, I found myself dealing with our own Internet glitch.
While yesterday’s outages affected some members of our family as they attempted to use a couple of their favorite online applications, today’s more acute outage had greater ramifications for us because we were unable to access anything at all and unlike the AWS outage, I was the only Internet tech on duty here this afternoon once my husband, our main technician, worked on solving our router-related issue. Unlike my husband, I am in no way the person you want on your tech desk when things go awry with your Internet connection. Although my tech-savvy husband was able to come home briefly this afternoon and then acquired the new router from the Spectrum store near us, he had to head back to his church job for rehearsal this evening, leaving me as the Tech in Charge.
Given that all I had to do was take the new router out of the box and plug in the respective ethernet and power cords, we all felt pretty confident with my technical abilities to get us back online. That confidence faded pretty quickly as the steady blue light on the router faded to a blinking red light. That’s right, we didn’t just go to the pulsing blue light indicating the router was offline. We went to a code red situation indicating all tech bets were off for me getting us reconnected.
Obviously being connected to the Internet is not a dire issue, but at this point, it was like a personal challenge. After talking to my husband before he needed to start rehearsal, it came down to the fact that I was going to need to call the tech help troubleshooting line. This is not an easy or comfortable task for me; I don’t speak tech and I am neurodivergent and don’t always do well talking on the phone about complicated issues, a topic technology falls under for me. But, as part of my personal challenge, I was determined to see this through and get us back up and running. I mean, I had a blog to write, and my girls had projects to work on and music to fuel their late afternoon and evening.
After a 30-ish minute phone call with a knowledgeable tech specialist from our service provider, I was able to follow her instructions and get our router up and running with a steady blue light. To say I felt pretty good about that is a definite understatement. But what I felt even more delighted by was that my 15 year old came into the kitchen as I began prepping all the dinner things and gave me a spontaneous hug followed by a thank you: Thank you. For doing that. It was simple. It was heartfelt. And I loved her words as much as her hug because I was grateful she got to watch me take on something that made me uncomfortable and succeed because I opted not to quit and wait for my husband to take care of it.
I don’t know if my girls know how much I’m cheering them on as I watch them moving through some of their own challenges. But I do know that these two remarkable young women learn as much from what I do and how I do it as they do in any other way. When they were young, this was a regular mantra for me and my husband, that our girls learn so much from our example. In other words, we took to heart the idea that behaviors are caught, not taught. We always tried to model healthy behaviors and choices for our girls. As teenagers, that still applies. That’s one of the reasons I apologize when my behavior falls short of the mark I’m hoping to reflect for them. It’s also why I live as transparently before them so they’ll see that even if life is hard sometimes, there is joy and hope and love and beauty.
Technically speaking, my 17 year old didn’t acknowledge my tech success, but I already know she realizes what a big deal that was for me. Because like her sister did when I was starting dinner, my oldest often celebrates my wins and my talents and abilities. Just like I celebrate each of theirs. I love that we get to be part of this incredibly special mutual admiration society. I love that they not only remind me of who I want to be, but they remind me of who I already am, and that I am loved by them simply because I get to be their mama. In fact, my 17 year old told me that last night and I will never get tired of them telling me that they love that I am their mama because I love that they are my amazing daughters.