Have you ever gotten a song stuck in your head? Or maybe you’ve been Rickrolled—you know, when you click on a link and the next thing you know you’re listening to Rick Astley singing about how he’s never going to give you up or let you down (and now you are singing that tune in your head). There are times when this happens to me and the only thing that helps is playing the song through to its rightful end. And so it is with the voices that get stuck in our heads. You know the ones. They tell you all the worst things about yourself, feeding all your insecurities, until those insecurities have taken on a life, and a voice, of their own.
One of my girls’ favorite movies for a while was Ralph Breaks the Internet. If you’re not familiar with this movie, Wreck-it Ralph and his best friend, Vanellope, head out into the Internet to procure a steering wheel from eBay for Vanellope’s broken video game. While they’re there, Vanellope discovers a new video game, the game of her dreams, if you will, and wants to stay there instead of going back to her video game with Ralph. Hoping to persuade her to head back with him, Ralph employs a virus and in order to shut down the video game, the virus hunts out insecurities. When it hones in on Ralph, he comes face to face with his own insecurities.
I don’t know about you, but coming face to face with our insecurities can feel overwhelming. For Ralph, it takes on a physical form and, honestly, I am grateful mine are only the voice in my head. They’re loud enough in there; I’d hate to see what shape they’d take if they morphed into a physical form like Ralph’s. Because, honestly, they are hard enough to deal with when they get stuck in my head. Maybe that’s why when I hear either of my girls repeating what I know are the insecurities and anxieties stuck on repeat in their heads, I react more strongly than I want to.
But, what I love about these two mighty girls, these remarkable young women, is that they will call me on what are clearly my own insecurities. Whether in the moment or after the fact, they will let me know that my overreaction was too much and reflected something beyond what was going on with them. And while I will explain to them that my strong response is steeped in wanting them to repeat the positive things about themselves and let go of these skewed, negative perceptions, I also need to admit my response is neither helpful nor encouraging when I overreact. In fact, I become like Ralph’s larger-than-himself version who is pursuing the best friend he is afraid of losing. Like that movie character, I become an oversized version of my fears who then responds out of fear rather than love.
In the quieter moments, when their inner critics and insecurities are not the song stuck in their heads, those are the times I attempt to provide them new soundtracks and a better playlist—one that is filled with the truth about who they are and who they are created to be. Rather than responding from my own desperation to make them see what I see, I am able to breathe more deeply and pray for wisdom, for clarity, and for God to work in and through me to help them see who He designed them to be. For indeed, these two remarkable young women are filled with so many amazing qualities, but, like with all of us, those qualities are too easily overshadowed and swallowed up by the virus of insecurity like the one pictured in Ralph Breaks the Internet.
That is in part, in large part, why these words I craft each day matter so much to me. As I have conveyed to my oldest teen, who reads these words faithfully every day, this a good place for her to see who she truly is because these words reflect her truth. When I look at each of my girls, I see the masterpieces they are, designed and crafted by the hand of the One who created all the beauty and things at which we are invited to marvel in this world. It is my daily hope and prayer that each of these incredible young women will come to know and recognize the truth that is in them so that the words that get stuck in their heads will remind them how awesome they really are.