I have to admit that more often than not a sponsored post will show up in one of my social media feeds that will tempt me in the exact click-bait fashion with which I believe it is intended. This happens with exercise programs and apps, meal prep programs, products I think either of my teenagers might enjoy as a gift, or assessments related to diets or sleeping habits. More often than not, I will click the post and begin the process and almost always close out before hitting the submit button.
The most recent option in this category is one that says you can take a 3-minute quiz to find out your optimal bedtime as well as the correlating time to get up in the morning. The accompanying video always has the most absurd results, things like, my ideal bedtime is at 2:50 a.m. or something along those lines. In the video, the 2:50 a.m. bedtime person looks bright-eyed compared to their friend or colleague who does what most of us do, going to bed sometime between 10 p.m. and midnight, who looks bleary eyed and otherwise lethargic.
As someone who struggles to determine if I can ever be a true morning lark or who feels more tired early in the morning or at bedtime when I would rather not feel so dang-blasted weary. Of course I realize in part some of this weariness occurs when I am experiencing higher anxiety or stress or when we have lost our daily rhythm and routines due to things like sickness (as happened a couple of weeks ago) or busier days filled with extra appointments or activities (which followed the week or so of sickness). Still, I tend to wonder if I am a night owl or a morning lark and am definitely tempted to take the offered quiz in my social media feed.
Fortunately, I have a family who tends to look out for me—for my mental health, stress or anxiety levels, and my level of tiredness. In fact, only a few nights ago, my 17 year old wandered down the stairs and surveyed me sitting on the couch sipping my bedtime flower water; this is the name I’ve given to our nighttime sleepy tea because it pretty much tastes like flowers steeped in hot water. In other words, I don’t especially enjoy it, but I do enjoy the effects it provides, which is that I tend to fall asleep much more readily.
As she stood on the stairs watching me sip my flower water, she said she wanted to tell me that I should go to bed because it was now 10 p.m. and I’d told her and my 15 year old that I really wanted to get in bed early. Not only was I tired from tending sick people and making extra homemade foods, like elderberry syrup and chicken soup, but I was also hoping to avoid getting any of the sickness myself. And so my 17 year old stood on our stairs and acted as my bedtime conscience because I’d gotten caught up in a conversation with my husband and was actively avoiding my own early bedtime advice.
I love that these two amazing young women will check on me the way they do. They will check on me and hold me accountable when I tell them I want to get in bed early or when I say I need to do some writing or when I indicate I need to go make myself something to eat. Other times they will check on how I’m doing if my stress level or my anxiety has been noticeably high. My 15 year old will lean in for a quick hug and ask simply, You okay? Even more, I recognize they are not always thrilled with my choosing to head to bed as early as I do sometimes, but they know I don’t expect them to go to sleep when I do.
Even when they were younger, we established the idea that if they were unable to fall asleep, they could read or sketch in their room. The only expectation was that they stay in their rooms and not wander around the house. They have always been made aware that both my husband and I are available if they need us for an emergency or sickness or anxiety/fear. But we have also tried to create room for them to be kids who go to sleep later if that’s what they need or what works for them. That holds true still. For us, this symbiotic relationship with each other and with sleep tends to provide all of us with what we need. And that is something I will never tire of.